


Honesty

by justtoarguewithyou



Series: Tumblr Comfort Mini Fest with SwottyPotter [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Comfort, Fluff, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-21
Updated: 2020-09-21
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:28:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26583667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justtoarguewithyou/pseuds/justtoarguewithyou
Summary: This story connects with the previous work.This is a Marauder's Era ficlet about Remus grappling with his feelings about Sirius."An Anniversary" is the first part, and "Honesty" is the second part.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: Tumblr Comfort Mini Fest with SwottyPotter [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1933714
Comments: 4
Kudos: 15





	Honesty

Remus Lupin knows a lot about himself: he knows he is a werewolf; he knows he loves his friends, and chocolate, and a good book (in that order); he also knows he is most likely, quite possibly gay, and potentially in love with his best friend.

This last item of interest isn’t something he’s admitted to anyone. He hasn’t even said it out loud to himself. But now he’s awake behind his bed curtains, the stars twinkling in the black moonless night sky, thinking about how he might say it out loud.

He had come close to admitting it to Sirius on the anniversary of their animagus transformation. Instead, they goofed around, listening to records for a while before dinner. Remus knew he should have been working on his History of Magic essay instead. He had still needed 6 inches of parchment.

If Remus let himself be very honest, he would say that he likes Sirius very much.

“Of course, I do,” he thinks, rationalizing his feelings away. “I like all my friends.”

Of course, James and Peter are also very important to him. But Remus doesn’t find himself looking at the map to see where they are, or who they are spending their time with, when they aren’t in the common room.

And Remus doesn’t find himself thinking of their naked bodies after a shower. No, that’s solely reserved for the easy way that Sirius stands naked, not even bothering with a towel, as he walks to their dresser drawers to get his underthings. Just Sirius, with his broad Beater’s trapezius and deltoid muscles, pronounced inguinal ligaments, and bulky vastus laterales. The lateral heads of his gastrocnemius muscles that Remus just wants to sink his teeth into.

(Why doesn’t Hogwarts teach anatomy? Remus had wondered. It had eaten away at his brain, over the summer, when he realized he didn’t have words for the quidditch-induced muscles of Sirius’s body. He’d had to put aside his usual readings to look these up in a Muggle library book over the summer.)

If Remus isn’t careful, he knows in his marrow that he could fall in love with Sirius Black: Sirius who had brought him cake to celebrate becoming a big black dog for him! Sirius who had smiled, and grabbed his hands as they swayed while “Cosmic Dancer” played on the turntable. Sirius who knows how Remus takes his tea, and which Honeyduke’s Chocolate bar is his favorite.

Remus sighs.

Personally, he doesn’t mind the idea of exploring the intersection of hormonal-induced lust and the male form. No. What he does mind is that his friends might mind. He doesn’t want to see them suddenly tensing up around him when they hadn’t knowing about his furry little problem. No. The tensing is definitely a hinderance to total honesty.

But if he can trust his friends to know that he is a werewolf, how could he not trust them with this smaller, yet somehow more terrifying, truth?

Remus sighs again. Perhaps more loudly than he should have. He hears Sirius part his bed curtains and stand up. He sees Sirius’s long fingers part his own bed curtains.

“Budge over,” Sirius whispers. Remus complies.

“What’s wrong?” Sirius whispers the question softly into Remus’s ear. Remus feels the hair rise on the back of neck.

Remus just shakes his head.

“All right.” Sirius curls himself around Remus as he is wont to do on a sleepless night. “Good night, then. I love you.”

Sirius has said he loves Remus ever since the night Remus had found him crying silently behind a tapestry near the Transfiguration corridor in their third year. Sirius had received a particularly nasty letter from home that morning at breakfast, and later had exchanged words with Lucius Malfoy, who could be vicious. Sirius’s sullen mood had finally given way to tears as everyone went to their common rooms. Remus had loitered in the hallway, watching. He had decided to brave his friend’s possible ire, and was met with the heartbreaking sight instead.

Remus didn’t say anything about the tears, or his parents. Instead, he had hugged Sirius; and hugged him, and hugged him. And after that, Sirius had begun to sneak into Remus’s bed when he couldn’t sleep, or when he felt particularly sad, or just needed a little extra love and attention.

And now Remus wonders if his “I love you” will sound different to Sirius. Sirius, who notices everything.

“Are you sure you’re alright?” Sirius whispers into Remus’s neck.

“Very sure,” Remus whispers back. “I love you. Good night.”

And it’s true, Remus thinks, as he falls asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> I am on [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/justtoarguewithyou)


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